when the world is quiet
by another moment gone
Summary: one-shot. You think you always kind of knew that people changed. So rather than crying and stuffing your face with self-pitying chocolate and watching depressing movies, you drop to your knees in laughter as the rain pours and drenches your new dress. R


w _h _**e**n t_h_e **w**o_r_l**d** _i_s **q**u_i_**e**t

* * *

-another moment gone-

* * *

_Here we go again  
I kinda wanna be more than friends  
So take it easy on me  
I'm afraid you're never satisfied.  
Here we go again_

It's three am on a Wednesday morning and you're sitting on the edge of your comfy bed, face in hands, eyes shut tightly. You're rocking yourself back in forth, your right leg bouncing involuntarily.

The only sound that you can hear is the soft crickets chirping blissfully in the dead of night. If only you could be the crickets that were singing happily while you, as a human, rot in your own puddle of self-pity.

He's done it again. He's dragged you along, in all his egotistical impulses; he's made a fool of you. He's broken your heart for the—you weren't sure at this point... you stopped counting at ten. It was really quite brilliant how each time you felt so close, he cut the strings and said he just wanted to be friends and to be able to have his freedom.

Maybe you're just another silly naïve adolescent girl.

Maybe you just played some more games because perhaps, you _enjoy_ the pain and rejection you feel every time he pulls back and you're stuck sitting up in bed in the pitch black room..

Maybe.

Except maybe... maybe this time it was different.

At least that's what you told yourself.

_We're sick like animals  
We play pretend  
You're just a canible  
And I'm afraid I wont get out alive  
No I won't sleep tonight.

* * *

_

-:-

"You know," she says chewing on chips. "I've always wanted a guy to sweep me off my feet. I'm _so _cliché. I just want my Romeo to come and save me from myself like in all those movies. Ya know, Mass?"

You stare blankly at the table.

"Mass?" She intrudes your thoughts.

You look up finally, your eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep. "Yeah, Skye?"

_Oh, oh  
I want some more  
Oh, oh  
What are you waitin' for?  
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.  
Oh oh  
I want some more_

Her baby blue eyes were full of concern and typical pity. You felt your ears burn. Instinctively, your legs were tense—ready to bolt from the cafeteria that was swarming with whispers and stares of last night's event.

"What happened last night, Mass?" She asked patiently, her voice and his words echoing in your head.

"Forget it. I'll see you in history, okay Skye?" She nods and you barely notice as you are making a beeline for the courtyard where you usually would go to concentrate on your thoughts.

Oh oh  
What are we waitin' for?  
What are we waitin' for?  
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.

* * *

-:-

You walk to the courtyard and ignore the occasional person that happens to stare a little too long at you.

Sitting down, you heave a sigh as you glance up at the sky. The dark ominous sky. The gray, dark and scary rain filled clouds that are waiting to just _pour_ down onto you.

"Massie?"

_His _voice.

"I was looking for you, babe."

You wince. _Babe._

_Here we are again  
I feel the chemicals kickin' in  
It's gettin heavier  
And I wanna run and hide  
I wanna run and hide.  
I do it every time  
You're killin' me now  
And I won't be denied by you  
The animal inside of you. _

But you don't turn around, choosing to stare straight ahead. You focus on the shrubs that looked thirsty. Dry... like his words were becoming.

"I wanted to make sure we were okay, after—y'know, last night?" His body sits next to yours. A lump next to you. You still don't turn towards him.

But you can't help but boil over.

"Why in the world would we be _okay_?" You ask in a scarily calm voice. You slowly turn towards him, your eyes hard and impatient.

"Well—for one, I wasn't think about last night. And so clearly, I didn't mean to-"

"-Cheat on me?" You interject, ears ringing.

"It wasn't cheating, Massie. Baby, we weren't even dating."

You hear the anger in your voice surfacing. "I—I," you pause, your breathing becoming quicker as you tensely stand up and look down at him. He looks small and lost. You've seen that look once or twice before when you two broke up, but this time seemed to be less caring this time... because he knew you'd come back.

"Babe-"

"-My name is Massie." You interrupt again.

"Okay, _Massie_, you know I'm not perfect-"

"You're right."

"But Mass—I like _you_. I made a mistake with her last night and I promise not to ever do it again. I promise you that Massie." He throws his promises emptily at you. You usually would eat them up, hoping each time his promises will mean something but this time, you stand up a little straighter and dodge his empty promises.

"Forget about it, okay?"

You say slowly, realization hitting you.

He'll never understand.

_Oh, oh  
I want some more  
Oh, oh  
What are you waitin' for?  
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.  
Oh oh  
I want some more  
Oh oh  
What are we waitin' for?  
__What are we waitin' for?  
Say goodbye to my heart tonight._

_

* * *

Oh, oh  
I want some more  
Oh, oh _

He smiles brightly and starts to stand up. "I'm glad we're okay. You can come over tonight and we can watch re-runs of-"

You put your hand on his chest to stop him from speaking. You look up at him and you almost forget how tall he was. Almost intimidating, yet you know how insecure and young he really is.

"I said we're okay. I never said we'd be the same again." You speak slowly, locking eyes with him.

His eyes widen as he tries to dissect your words, for once listening and trying to comprehend your words. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm done with you. I'm done with your games too. I'm not your 'babe' or 'baby.'"

His eyes crinkle in utter confusion.

You answer this time in simpler words: "We're through."

_I want some more  
Oh oh  
What are we waitin' for?  
What are we waitin' for?  
Say goodbye to my heart tonight._

His mouth opens but you speak quickly so he can't say anything that will make you crawl right back into his arms.

"I think you should go to your class now." You utter.

He nods, slowly he looks at you, and tries to figure out what to do this time. You see the little boy you grew up with and fell in love with, starting with 6th grade.

Years later, you saw him grow up physically and change mentally. His words became less and his games were meaner and occurred more often. He was no longer the little boy who told you he thought you two were meant to be, who told you secrets and passed notes with you in French class. He was no longer yours.

You watch his retreating figure as you realize how desperate you were before. You wanted nothing but to have him in your arms and have his lips smiling against yours. But that time passed and he's different now.

And you are too.

You smile to yourself slightly as he opens the courtyard door and glances over his shoulder and looks at you.

You see that boy who had told you sweet nothings.

You see that boy who had a crooked smile and braces and was skinny as a twig.

You see that boy who had a heart as big as his smile.

You see the boy with innocence and the same naïve nature you hold now.

You see that boy that was afraid of love but would discuss it anyway with you, late on at night on the phone.

You see that boy who you would feel butterflies and giddy cliché feelings for.

You see that boy who you fell for.

But now that as you stared at his retreating figure; you see a grown up guy. A man almost.

A guy who's ego is a little too large.

A guy who's a little too insensitive.

A guy who's lost his charismatic ways.

A guy who's lost, well, himself.

Not the same guy you fell for.

* * *

-:-

The rain poured down, soaking your yellow sundress and drenching your hair. At first, you wanted to cry because it seemed so cliché that a sad ending like this should have depressing rain and a movie where you could cry all you wanted.

But this time, you smiled and started laughing. The laughter became hysterical and although you probably looked crazy for laughing by yourself, especially at nothing in particular.

And soon tears are steaming down your face and you're on the ground crying and laughing all at the same time.

Maybe you're a little insane.

* * *

-:-

It's three in the morning, on a Thursday night, and your hands on at your sides and your ears are closed as you listen to the cricket's songs. Your thoughts are rumbling but nothing in particular is coming to mind.

Your mind is on him.

But even you know, it was time to let go.

_It's just the world is quiet  
So hush we both can't fight it  
It's us that made this mess  
Why can't you understand?  
Woah I won't sleep tonight.  
I wont sleep tonight _

You lie on your bed, the quietness wrapping a blanket around you. Then a clash of lightening and a clap of thunder—rain is pouring down.

In a perfect world, he would've ran through this storm to your house and thrown a pebble at your window. You're picturing it now, lids sealed tightly. He would've climbed the vines against your house and knocked on your window. You would've shaken in surprise and padded to the window, apprehensive at best. Then in utter surprise, you would've seen him, opened your window, and he would've crawled in. It would seem like a dream, and he'd be sitting on your bed with you, side by side, and only your breathing could be heard. And then he would apologize and say those three little words that even the fearless Chuck Bass had an issue with saying.

And when he did, you'd take him back and lean in and kiss him with an everlasting kiss and he'd be your first and only kiss.

'Cause after all, he was your first kiss.

But this, this is reality. Not some fantasy or desire that bubbles to the surface.

_Oh, oh  
I want some more  
Oh, oh  
What are you waitin' for?  
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.  
Oh oh  
I want some more  
Oh oh  
What are we waitin' for?  
What are we waitin' for? _

A little sad that everything is over, but you decide that what would happen if all of that fantasy came true? What if things never turned the same? What if it was just a relationship full of doubt and lack of trust-and he dumped you a week later? Then what? Things would never be the same again and even you, Massie Block, knew that.

And although every memory you shared him with, for many years of your adolescent life, were swirling wickedly in your mind... every passing minute seemed a little easier and easier each time.

And in bed, lying on your back, your lids closed—you realized he would never run in the thunder and lightening and rain to see you. You realize he'd never risk his life for you—he was far too selfish to do that. You realize he didn't need you, and you realize you were just another girl to him.

So maybe that's why letting go was a little simpler than expected, and a little easier than imagined.

_Say goodbye to my heart tonight.

* * *

_

_-review._

_Thanks..._

_Yet,_

_another moment gone._


End file.
